Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat Guidelines
These are the agreements we take together on a Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat. If you have booked with us, this is what you are joining, and it is worth reading before you arrive. If you are still deciding, read it anyway: we would rather you knew exactly what a retreat asks of you. Some of it may look severe on the page. Almost none of it feels that way in the room.
Our retreats run in three, five and ten day formats at Karuna Retreat Center in the Monchique mountains, in the Algarve. If this would be your first, we have written an honest guide for beginners.
Welcome
We are glad you are here.
A meditation retreat is an unusual situation, although meditation itself is perfectly normal. A group of people live together in very simple conditions and relate to each other in a completely new way: in silence and introspection, through the common experience of meditation, with all its pains and joys, discoveries and frustrations.
For three, five or ten days, life is built around one purpose rather than the many separate purposes the world usually asks of us. It is a rare thing, and it is worth arriving patient and open.
The first days can hold restlessness, aches in the body, muscular fever, physical and mental purification, and various unusual perceptions. Nothing has gone wrong when this happens. It is very common to discover, in the first day or two, how tired we actually are. The invitation is to rest, and then to stay with whatever comes.
There is no such thing as a failed meditation. Whatever happens, when we come with earnestness and honesty, something genuine can move, simply because we showed up.
Why there are agreements
Please read these pages carefully, even if you have sat a Hridaya retreat before.
What follows are not rules imposed from outside. They are agreements we take together, because we understand that they create the conditions to go deeper within ourselves. Each of us keeps them for everyone else as much as for our own sake, and it is remarkable how much easier the retreat becomes when the whole group is committed to it.
The purpose of every agreement on this page is the same: to create, for a few days, conditions close to those of a yogi in solitude, in a cave. A cave, with company. Together in the Cave of the Heart.
None of this is because silence, or stillness, or the sacred, are somewhere else and must be reached. Who we are is always here. We are always with ourselves, and that connection can never be broken by any outer circumstance. But in daily life there is so much noise, so many responsibilities and thoughts, that most of us simply forget. These few days are a way of setting the distractions down long enough to recognise what is always already here.
If at first glance the agreements feel too strict, we would gently ask you to look at your own readiness rather than at the guidelines. And if you do feel ready, let this thought carry you: in the whole span of a life, a retreat lasts a few days and its ripples and insights can stay with us our whole life.
The agreements
Mauna, noble Silence
Mauna begins on the first morning, with the consecration of the retreat, and ends after the last meditation on the final day. Between those two moments there is no talking or communication between participants, and no passing of notes to each other.
Much energy goes into our speech, and much of the ego with it. We say things that do not need saying, things that are idle, or gossipy, or occasionally harmful. This does not only make the world noisy. It makes the mind noisy. And if there is nobody to talk to, most of us simply chatter away to ourselves, which in meditation becomes a real hindrance.
Mauna is more than not speaking. We also set aside the other ways we reach for each other: gestures and signs, eye contact, touch. And beyond all of that there is an inner silence, which is the harder and more valuable part: the commitment not to follow every thought into a monologue with ourselves, the commitment to honour silence not only in an external way but in all dimensions of our being. The yogic tradition speaks of several degrees of silence. We open to all of them, as far as we are able. We have written separately about what noble Silence really means, and its deeper levels.
None of this is to be forced. Forcing brings contraction. The invitation, rather, is to fall in love with the Silence.
If you keep a japa or mantra practice, you are welcome to continue it silently, without voicing the words. Prayer is welcome. Walking, eating and moving quietly are part of the same training, and they bring their own grace.
Part of Mauna is also doing our best for not judging, and not projecting our opinions onto others. Self-discipline and a compassionate understanding of all things grow together.
When to communicate
Silence is never a matter of being left alone with a problem.
We are creating conditions as though each of us were alone in a cave. At the same time we are not alone. We are together, and we are supporting each other. If you need something, please write us a note.
There is paper and a pen in the meditation hall. Write to the retreat leaders at any time: something practical, something for your body, a difficulty in the practice, a question about the teachings. Notes are read every day. Please write your name if you need an answer or something brought to you. Questions for the daily Q&A can be anonymous, and if you would rather a question was not read aloud, write private on it along with your name.
Please write to the retreat leaders rather than passing notes to another participant, including your roommate or the kitchen. This is not bureaucracy. When something has stirred us, we do not always find the right words, and a message passed through a third person arrives more gently.
Most questions about the practice are better asked in writing during the Q&A than carried alone, and very often somebody else in the room is having the same question.
The attitude of solitude
The invitation is to cultivate a state resembling solitude: not looking at one another, not touching, hugging or kissing, not greeting each other even without words, not smiling across the room.
For sociable people this can feel alienating and lonely, especially in the first day or two, and it is worth knowing that in advance. It will also help your interiorization dramatically. Every one of us carries a whole world of projections, and a single glance can carry a question, a reassurance, an entire conversation. In Silence we give each other the freedom of not having to respond, of not having to be anyone for anyone.
And this is not distance. A spiritual community is defined as much by keeping each other's solitude as by anything else. We are together, and we are also in solitude.
One thing follows from this. During a retreat, processes surface, and sometimes a person nearby will weep or be visibly moved. Please simply let it be. There is nothing to do, nothing to fix, and no need to look. It is a moment to practise compassion and acceptance, and it can be another anchor for presence rather than a disturbance.
And in the opening of the soul, another kind of communication becomes available, much subtler: the silent language of Love. Your friends will still love you at the end of the retreat, maybe even more.
No phones, no electronics, no media
For the duration of the retreat we set aside phones, computers, music players and the internet. No news, no email, no messaging, no videos, no music.
Phones are best switched off and left at the bottom of your luggage. If it would support you, you are welcome to hand your phone and any other electronics to the retreat coordinator on arrival and collect them at the end. Please make sure any alarms are switched off first. If you need a light to walk back to your room at night, a phone torch is fine.
You will not need a clock. A gong wakes us in the morning, and a gong is rung before every session.
Think of it as a present to yourself. For a few days the messages, the news and the responsibilities simply wait. Most of us feel a little enslaved by these devices, and there is real joy in discovering that everything can be set down.
The emergency contact numbers for the retreat and for the centre are on the table in the hall. You are welcome to photograph them before the silence begins and send them to the people who may need to reach you.
Reading
Please set reading aside for the retreat, including books of a spiritual nature.
A great deal is shared during the retreat itself, and it is more than enough. Reading pulls in the other direction, diffusing the effort and the experience, and it is very often a way of stepping out of the present moment. Part of what we are learning here is to notice the moment we reach for a strategy to avoid what is actually happening.
Writing, and your retreat journal
You are very welcome to keep a notebook, and notes taken during the talks and the Q&A are encouraged.
What is worth writing down is what is alive: an insight, a shift in perception, an experience in meditation, a way the heart is guiding you, an attitude you want to cultivate. Sometimes poetry comes. These things are worth recording, because afterwards the mind begins to file them away, and a few written lines can open that mood again long after the retreat has ended.
What we would gently discourage is using the notebook to reiterate the mind's loops: the day's story, old grievances, plans, the running commentary. Letters, essays and creative writing take the mind away from what we are here for.
And during a meditation session, please do not stop to write. If a thought seems too important to lose, trust that it will still be there when the session ends. Usually it is if it is really important.
Sexual abstinence
Sexual abstinence is part of the retreat. This means celibacy during the time of the retreat, and not Tantric continence. It applies with others and with oneself.
Smoking, alcohol and other substances
There is no smoking, alcohol, drugs or other substances during the retreat.
About fasting
We do not recommend fasting for the whole retreat, so that vitality and energy stay available for the meditation. A weekly fasting day, or skipping the occasional meal, is fine. If this is your first retreat, the invitation is not to fast at all.
Please let us know about any allergies or dietary needs, so that the kitchen can take care of you properly.
Dress, and strong scents
The invitation here is simply to keep common sense, and to set aside, for a few days, the wish to attract attention. This is not about stifling anyone's creativity or self-expression. It is part of the atmosphere of consideration and mutual support we are cultivating together.
Please avoid perfume, and be considerate with other strongly scented products such as mosquito repellent and tiger balm. On retreat we are in close proximity for long periods, and some people are genuinely sensitive to fragrance.
Following the schedule
Our schedule is moderate compared with retreats that begin before dawn. It is still a full day. It holds around five and a half hours of meditation, an hour and a half of Hridaya Hatha Yoga, as well as teaching and Q&A.
The invitation is to join all the sessions and activities of the retreat.
The daily schedule at Karuna Retreat Center
The daily programme is split into two parts: a morning session (06:30 to 12:30) and an afternoon and evening session (16:00 to approximately 21:00).
06:30 – 08:30 Hridaya Meditation. Meditation will begin in shorter segments, building to one continuous, deep meditation session
08:30 – 09:30 Breakfast
09:30 – 10:30 Relevant lecture teaching
10:30 – 12:00 Hridaya Hatha Yoga
12:00 – 12:30 Meditation
13:00 – 16:00 Lunch and rest
16:00 – 18:30 Hridaya Meditation (beginning in shorter segments)
18:30 – 19:30 Time for personal practice and dinner
19:30 – 20:30 Daily themed spiritual discourse and Q&A (length depends on the number of questions)
20:30 – 21:00 Final evening meditation (may go later depending on the number of questions)
The half hour between 12:30 and 13:00 is free. You are welcome to keep sitting in the hall, or to go outside quietly.
In total, the day holds around five and a half hours of meditation, an hour and a half of Hridaya Hatha Yoga, and about two hours of teaching and Q&A.
We also describe what a full retreat day actually looks like, hour by hour in a separate guide.
Arriving on time
Please be on time for every session.
A gong is rung roughly ten minutes before each session begins. In the meditation hall the gong is struck three times as the session approaches, and at the fourth we ask that there be no more movement.
If you are late for a meditation, please do not slip into the hall. Sit quietly outside, meditate there for the session, and come in at the next break. For the talks and the Hatha Yoga you are welcome to come in at any time.
In the meditation hall
Your seat. Take a place on the first evening and keep it for the whole retreat. If you truly need to change it, write us a note.
Comfort is not a compromise. You may sit on a cushion, a meditation bench or a chair, and you may change posture when you need to. A posture you can rest in will take you further than one you are enduring. Cushions, benches and chairs are all provided, and you are welcome to bring your own support from home.
Please do not lie down during the meditations. It is simply too easy to fall asleep. During the talks you are welcome to recline at a 45 degree angle, with cushions behind you, or sit on a chair.
Leaving during a meditation. Stretching, going to the toilet, drinking water and writing things down are best kept for the breaks. If you genuinely need to leave, go quietly, and then wait outside until the next break rather than coming back in. You are welcome to bring your cushion and continue sitting outside.
Ending a session. When the gong sounds, keep the awareness of the Heart as you rise and leave. That is part of the practice, not the end of it: what we are learning is to carry the Silence out of the hall and into the rest of the day.
Not disturbing others
We do everything in our power to give you a peaceful and undisturbed environment, and your care makes the rest of it.
Please avoid sudden movements, sharp noises, hyperventilation and other disturbing bodily actions during the sessions. Beyond the discreet rearrangement of your legs, please stay still.
Please make fair use of the mats, cushions and chairs. If you would like particular conditions of comfort, you are welcome to bring your own from home, so that nobody else goes without.
The hall, and caring for the place
The hall is open to you at any hour, and it is your temple for these days. You are welcome to rest here, to practise on your own, to journal. Your own pranayama practice is welcome, though the more forceful techniques are best left for another time, and a practice as expressive as dance is better done outside.
Please bring water in a closed bottle rather than an open cup, and keep the door closed behind you so that mosquitoes and flies stay outside. Please treat the rooms, the kitchen and the grounds as your own home for these days, and leave each space as you found it.
If the agreements are not kept
The agreements above are what make the retreat what it is, and they are kept for everyone's sake.
If something is going astray, the retreat leaders will usually offer a suggestion for your practice, or a quiet reminder. If a participant's behaviour is highly disruptive for the others, they can be asked to leave after a warning, and in rare and extreme cases without one. Such a decision rests with the retreat leader. This is an extremely rare situation. No refunds are given to those who leave or are asked to leave; our full cancellation policy sets out the terms.
Please do consider carefully, before joining, whether you truly accept the agreements of the retreat.
Your health and wellbeing
A silent retreat is beautiful, and it is intensive. Long hours of Silence can bring up not only peace and clarity but strong emotions and old material. Our teachers are trained to guide meditation and spiritual practice, and they are not mental health professionals. If you are living with, or have a history of, a significant mental health condition, please read our Mental Health and Wellbeing note and write to us before registering, so that we can look at it together.
Staying to the end
If you decide to join, we warmly encourage you to make a commitment to yourself that you will stay until the end, genuine emergencies aside. With commitment and patience, even complete beginners find the strength to move through the minor difficulties and to receive a great deal. And what many people find is that a little of the Silence comes back with them, which we have written about separately: keeping the practice alive after a retreat.
This is a valuable and rare opportunity. A gift to yourself.
The Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat
The Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat is an intensive retreat, conceived in an original style founded on the principles of Advaita Vedanta, non-duality, and Tantric Yoga. It was designed as a complete programme. Different parts of it are of real benefit on their own, and the whole is worth considerably more than the sum of those parts. Sitting it can help you build a balanced, individual spiritual practice of your own.
This retreat focuses on the revelation of the Spiritual Heart: our real and essential nature, the Supreme and Divine Self, Atman. Over the days we approach the Spiritual Heart from several directions, drawing on Advaita Vedanta, Christian mysticism, Sufism and Kashmir Shaivism. The method is a unique integration of Advaita Vedanta, Sufism, Tantra and Dzogchen.
No belief is asked of you, and nothing here is to be taken on blind belief. The talks are not offered so that we may collect concepts, or Sanskrit words, or a philosophy. They are closer to an inspiration, and you are welcome to receive them as you would a guided meditation. What changes a life is not a mental understanding but an experiential one, and that can only happen in you.
The programme aims to create an experience as close as possible to a solitary retreat, a cave retreat, so that there is room for deep inner states, for an intense aspiration towards the Divine, and for the focused interiorization in which the soul, jiva-atman, can awaken and blossom. This is why complete Mauna is kept by everyone, and it is what allows an atmosphere of Love and aspiration to form, in which we can surrender to our real and essential nature.
If you would like the method explained on its own terms, we have written a full introduction to Hridaya meditation and the practice of the Spiritual Heart, and separate guides to self-inquiry and the question “Who am I?” and to jnana yoga, the path of direct knowledge to which this method belongs.
See our silent meditation retreats in Portugal
They run in three, five and ten day formats, and every practice is taught during the retreat, from the beginning.
You do not have to wait for a retreat to begin. You are welcome at our free weekly online meditation, you can sit with our recorded meditations at any time, and our one-day online silent retreats are a gentle way to spend longer in the practice from home.
With Love,
the Cave of the Heart Team